Big Bad Needle
by NotWriteInTheHead
Summary: Paige thinks she's going to die. Emily knows she isn't. A flu shot is involved. Fluffy as always. Actual summaries are hard.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Pretty Little Liars.

**Big Bad Needle**

* * *

"I'm going to die."

"You're being dramatic Paige. You're not going to die."

"But what if I die?"

"You're not."

"I could actually die. You could be leading me to my death. Oh my god, stop the car. What kind of a girlfriend are you?"

"One that's slowly losing patience. And we're already here, so..." she turns the ignition off, "car stopped," she smiles.

Paige doesn't look the least bit amused. She actually does look a bit scared. Paige doesn't get scared. Apparently this was a little more serious than Emily initially thought.

"Paige, you're going to be fine. I promise." She grabs Paige's hand over the gear shift, intertwining their fingers, hoping it offers her some assurance. "People do this all the time."

Paige huffs, "At one point _people_ thought the world was flat. And Mitt Romney was actually in the running for president. _People_ are dumb. I don't trust _people_."

Emily smiles at her emphasis on the word 'people,' as if it was some kind of a disease she didn't want, rather than something she actually was. "You're people Paige. I'm people."

The crease in Paige's forehead deepens and becomes a full fledged scowl.

"Besides," Emily squeezes her hand, "I'll be there to hold your hand."

"I don't need you to hold my hand Em." Paige abruptly pulls her hand away.

Emily briefly wonders if she should be offended, but just as quickly as the thought comes, it vanishes, another coming to mind. "I know you don't," she starts, unbuckling her seat belt. "But I want to," she continues, opening the door. "You know," she kisses Paige hard on the mouth. "In case you die," she smirks, getting out of the car.

"...oh my god. I'm going to die."

* * *

"...ohgodohgodohgodohgod..." Paige has been repeating this mantra for the last ten minutes. The previous ten, Emily had spent doing all she could to calm her girlfriends nerves - kisses, a back rub, breathing exercises, and as a last resort, promises of a reward - all to no avail. Whether consciously or not, Paige was blocking her out. At least she was letting her hold her hand.

"Paige, will you please re-"

The door suddenly opens, interrupting her attempt to, yet again, calm Paige's nerves. An older man walks into the room, the light bouncing off his head doing weird things to his sad attempt of a comb over. If his white lab coat wasn't a dead give away that he was the doctor, Paige's death grip on her hand was pretty revealing. She obviously knew who he was.

"Aah, Miss McCullers, it's been a while," he smiles. "How are you?"

"Fine. Great. Honestly never been better Dr. Brown."

Emily looks down at her hand in Paige's lap. It's an angry red and she can't really feel anything. Her poor hand has definitely seen better days, but she doesn't say anything. Paige seems to need it more than she does right now and Emily finally feels like she's helping. She has to bite her lip though when the feeling in her hand comes back long enough for her to feel Paige's nails digging into it. She might need to make an appointment later.

Emily turns to look at the doctor, hoping his words will distract her enough to ignore the pain in her hand. He's already looking at her. Crap. Was he talking to her? "I'm sorry?" she asks.

He chuckles and confuses Emily even more. "Are you not Emily?"

"Oh no, I mean yes, I am. Do I, um...have we met before?" She glances at Paige, but her girlfriend is too lost in her own thoughts to offer any help.

"No, no. Nick and Carol are always raving about Paige's beautiful girlfriend." He looks down at their hands and smiles, "I just assumed. It's nice to meet you."

Emily is so pleasantly taken aback, that all she can do is nod.

"I have to apologize for the delay. A few nurses called out, so we're a little behind." He clasp his hands together, "but I'm here now. So, if you could just remove your jacket Miss McCullers, I can give you the shot and you can be on your way." He smiles again – which unnerves even Emily at this point. She's not sure she's ever seen anyone smile so much in the span of a few minutes.

Paige does as she's told, only letting Emily's hand go for a second, quickly grabbing it again once her jackets completely off. She's chewing on her bottom lip and Emily can tell she's still a bit nervous, so she rubs Paige's arm with her free hand, hoping it brings out some of the McCullers courage she's so used to seeing.

The corners of Paige's mouth curve upward slightly and if Emily squints it would look like a smile. She takes it as a win and smiles back.

"Are you ready?"

And the pseudo-smile is gone, replaced by a very obvious frown.

Emily turns and sees Dr. Brown with the needle. Turning back, Emily scoots closer to Paige, their shoulders touching and whispers in her ear, "people eventually figured out the world was round."

"Oh god."

"And Romney may have been in the running, but he didn't win."

Dr. Brown asks Paige again, if she's ready. Emily thinks he senses her unease because his voice is a little softer and he calls her by her first name instead.

Paige just nods at him, looking at Emily.

"I'll just do the right arm, since your left," he glances and there hands again, "seems to be occupied." He looks at Emily, seemingly asking a question she doesn't know the answer to, let alone the question itself. Whatever it was, he seems to have found it, his eyes back on Paige. "You know Paige, flu shots are fairly common. There's really nothing to worry about."

Paige's face shoots up, "I'm not scared, if that's what you're implying."

He laughs, "not implying anything, simply stating my opinions on the matter. You want to know another one?"

"Dr. Brown I don't really...ow! Oh."

"You're all done."

"But it didn't hurt."

"I could get one that does."

Emily laughs, breathing a sigh of relief that this was all over.

Paige stands up, bringing Emily with her. "Love to 'doc, but the old ball and chain here hates needles."

Emily scoffs. Her girlfriend was something else.

"So we'll just be going," Paige says, pulling Emily out the door and into the hall.

"Way to lie yourself out of a room McCullers."

"I would never Fields," Paige smirks, throwing her arm around Emily's neck

Emily intertwines her fingers with Paige's hand hanging over her shoulder. "So next time you won't need me here to tell you you're not going to die?" Her tone playful and joking.

Paige stops them suddenly, jerking Emily. "Oh god Em. What if the death effects take time? What if...oh god," Paige looks up. "My vision is blurring."

"Maybe you shouldn't stare directly at the ceiling lamp," Emily nudges Paige's head back down. "And I'm pretty sure the effects of death...is death. You're very much alive."

"For now," Paige shakes her head and looks at Emily. "Oh, Em-"

Emily kisses Paige, lingering for second, mostly for herself and pulls away. "Paige McCullers, I love you. So. Much. But babe, please shut up."

"I was going to say thank you," Paige kisses her. "Babe? New pet name?" She asks, raising an eyebrow.

Emily grins. "It seem to fit."

"Whatever you say hunny-bun," Paige mocks.

"Oh no."

"Actually, I think you're on to something my little chunky monkey." Paige grabs her hand, continuing their walk down the hall.

Emily stops, completely horrified at what she may have started. "Paige, no. We're not one of those couples."

"I know," Paige smiles and points a finger at her. "But we should be," she finishes, tugging at Emily's arm.

Emily frowns. "Oh god."

"Oh yes."

* * *

**A/N: **I wrote this a while ago, but for whatever didn't post it. I felt now would be as good a time as any since Paige thinking she's going to die from a flu shot is about as silly some of you thinking Paige is the 'other body.' I mean come on guys, I know it's Rosewood, but relax. Anyhow, as always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. Your reviews are the best and always manage to make me smile. So thanks for that too. I appreciate it.

And this actually gave me an idea for another fic, so I'm going to leave this as 'in progress' and make this a two shot, even though both fics will more or less be completely unrelated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own Pretty Little Liars. (snowballs should though. if you haven't already, go read locum tenens. seriously. you're welcome.)

**Big Bad Pet Names**

* * *

Emily loves Paige. Like really, really loves her. In a way that she's never loved anyone before. In a way she _couldn't_ love anyone before. Paige is smart and funny and beautiful and she doesn't even know it, which makes Emily love her even more. The point is, she loves Paige. She does. And she hopes that people remember that if she ends up accidentally strangling her.

Obviously, she wouldn't actually strangle Paige. Maybe give her a love tap or something, _anything _really,just to make her shut up. Because she won't shut up. Usually, it's fine, Emily encourages it actually. Paige has spent years keeping things to herself and it never ended well. Emily prefers talkative, stuttering, bumbling Paige over the quiet, mysterious, if somewhat sexy alternative. But Paige's current topic of conversation...is less a topic and more a list of pet names she's trying out. And by more, she means that's exactly what it is. That's all it's been all weekend.

It was her own stupid fault. 'Babe' slipped out without Emily even thinking about it. She was trying to get Paige to shut up and it just slipped out. Ever since, Paige has been trying to find one that works for them all weekend and Emily thought, _hoped_, she would forget about it once Monday rolled around and she could put her focus back on school. So far, no such luck. Granted, the first bell hasn't even rung yet, but the drive over was already too much for Emily to deal with. She's pretty sure she heard the word schnookums come out of her girlfriend's mouth.

"...buttercup? Cupcake? Ooh, what about kit-kat?"

That stops Emily in her tracks. She didn't think it could get worst. She turns around to face her rather annoying - at least this particular morning - girlfriend. "Paige, I'm not a snack."

Paige smirks. "I beg to differ tater-tot."

Before Emily has a chance to shoot down yet another disastrous pet name, a grinning Hanna bounces over towards them.

"Ooh, is this some kind of kinky lesbian sex thing?" Hanna wiggles her fingers.

"Hanna..." Aria nudges Hanna's shoulder.

"Inappropriate." Spencer finishes, standing next to Paige.

"Well...?" Hanna tries again, quirking an eyebrow, grin still firmly in place.

"Hanna!" Spencer scolds.

"What? You said inappropriate, not that I couldn't ask."

"No," Emily says quickly, wanting this conversation to be over before it can get started. Bringing Hanna into this would only make it worst.

"Yes."

"Paige!?" Emily narrows her eyes at her vigorously nodding girlfriend.

Paige chuckles. "I'm only kidding, Em," she says, placing an arm around her. Emily pushes it away.

"They don't know that," she motions to her friends.

"We do," Aria and Spencer quickly chime in.

They all turn to Hanna, waiting.

"Right Han?" Aria coaxes the blonde.

Hanna sighs dramatically, looking between Emily and Paige. She seems to find whatever it is she was looking for, a smile, bright and wide on her face. "As far as I know, you eat Snicker bars off of-"

"And we're leaving." Spencer turns the blonde around, pushing her towards the steps of the school entrance.

Aria squeezes Emily's shoulder. "She's only joking Em," she says, before walking off to join their retreating friends.

"I'm not judging!" Hanna manages to yell, before Aria and Spencer force her into the Rosewood High School entrance door.

Emily hopes they haven't caused too much of a scene, glancing around, she's grateful the school entrance is relatively deserted.

"Hmm."

Emily turns her attention back to her girlfriend. "What now?" She's already dreading the answer.

"Snicker bar could-"

"No," Emily cuts her off.

"It's kind of cute."

"We have class." Emily grabs her hand, pulling her along as she makes her way towards the steps. "This discussion is over."

"We have class together." Paige squeezes her hand. "This discussion is just getting started," she states, a devilish smirk taking over her lips.

* * *

Emily ignores the folded piece of paper Paige was nudging her leg with. She also ignores her girlfriend quietly, albeit dramatically, clearing her throat. She bends her arm, using her hand to shield her face away from Paige, already knowing what her next move was going to be. Fifteen minutes into class and this was already the twelfth note Paige was passing her. And after the first eleven ridiculous names she conjured up(honey bunch and sweet cheeks being her least favorites), Emily was almost scared to see what this one would say.

Emily moves her leg forward, anticipating Paige's kick. She covers her mouth, trying to hide her laugh, when she feels and hears Paige kick the table leg.

"Shit," Paige mutters.

"Excuse me, Miss McCullers. Is there a problem?" Mrs. Morgan, the History teacher asks her loudly.

Paige quickly shakes her head. "No, ma'am. My foot just slipped."

Mrs. Morgan stares her down. "Right. Well, try and keep the language a little more pg from now on."

There are a few quiet giggles in the room from the other students(and Emily), making Paige blush and bow her head. "Sorry."

"Alright, everyone get back to your papers." Mrs. Morgan waves her hand around, quieting the few still snickering students.

Paige leaves her alone after that, not even glancing Emily's way when she excuses herself to the bathroom. And Emily's grateful her girlfriend is leaving her to her own devices. Or she's grateful until the bell rings, signifying the end of class and Paige throws both her and Emily's bag onto her shoulder and yanks Emily out of the classroom.

"Easy, Paige. We have a few minutes. Slow down," Emily comments, as she pulls at her arm, trying to get the girl to let up.

Paige stops in her tracks, making Emily crash into her back, and spins around, holding a folded piece of paper in front of Emily's face.

"What is t-" Emily stops, recognizing it as the note Paige tried to pass her earlier in class. She folds her arms and shakes her head. "Nope. I'm not reading that."

Paige's shoulders fall and Emily catches her bag before it falls to the ground. "Why not? This one is good, I promise."

"Paige."

"Emily. This is the last one, I swear. And I know you'll love it."

"Ugh," Emily holds a hand out and Paige grins, thrusting the note into her open palm. Emily huffs, slowly unfolding the piece of paper. She frowns when she sees what it says. "Boo?"

Paige nods her head, beaming back at her.

"I don't get it," Emily says, looking back at the note.

Paige sighs. "Because you love horror movies. You can be my boo," she clarifies. "I looked it up online, it's just another way of saying baby, but this works much better."

Emily calmly folds the note. "Paige," she says, eyes still on the note.

"Uh huh?"

"I'm going to be honest with you," she continues, putting the note in her back pocket. She'd throw it away...later. But if she happened to forget, it wouldn't be the worst thing. It _was_ kind of cute.

"Of course."

"I'm tempted to break up with you."

Paige's mouth hangs open. "What? Why?"

Emily rolls her eyes. "I'm kidding," she says, kissing her for added effect. "But I'm not your boo or your baby or...what was that bread one you wrote in class."

"Bun-buns?"

Emily shudders. "Definitely not that." She puts a hand on Paige's shoulder, rubbing it in comfort when her face falls. "Can't I just be your girlfriend? Please? I really like being Paige McCuller's girlfriend."

Paige leans her forehead against Emily's. "You really don't like bun-buns?"

Emily kisses her nose. "I really, really don't like bun-buns."

"Fine. I guess Paige McCuller's girlfriend will have to do."

Emily pulls away, smiling. "We have to get to class. I'll see you at lunch?" She asks, just as the bell rings.

"Yup."

"Okay. Great," Emily kisses her quickly, before making her way to her class. "No more names McCullers!" she calls out, just in case.

"Yeah, whatever!" Emily hears her yell back just as she rounds the corner.

* * *

The rest of Emily's afternoon goes on as they often do. Bumping into her friends in between classes, getting a couple of text messages from Paige(all without any offending pet names), telling Hanna to 'shut up and pay attention in the one class they share, and just generally going about her day.

When lunch time rolls around, Emily rushes out of her class and heads to the court yard. Now that the whole...name situation sorted itself out, she was excited to spend time with her girlfriend and her friends without any weird names popping up. She could only guess what Hanna would come up with if she found out about the whole situation.

She can't help but grin when she sees her friends talking, with Paige smack dab in the middle of them.

"...didn't she like it?" Emily hears Spencer ask as she makes her way over to the table.

"Hey!" She greets her friends, kissing Paige and sitting down next to her. "What are you guys talking about?"

"What's wrong with boo, Em?" Hanna asks her.

Oh god.

"Yeah, I think it's kind of cute," Aria adds.

Emily drops her bag on the ground and scoots down the bench to glare at Paige. "I thought we were done with this?"

Paige throws her hands up in surrender. "We were, but Hanna asked about this morning and I tried to make something up, but-"

"She sucks at it," Spencer chimes in, biting into a baby carrot.

Emily pulls her packed lunch out of her bag and drops it unceremoniously onto the table. "You guys, Paige and I already settled this," Emily says, hoping they drop the conversation.

"Ooh," Hanna claps her hands together, her eyes shining. Who was Emily kidding, these were her friends she was talking about. "Did you _settle_ on pookie? I like pookie."

Emily rolls her eyes. "No, Hanna."

"So what did you _settle _on?" Aria asks.

"Hopefully you _settled_ on one of the more traditional ones. Toby calls me sweetie," Spencer nods.

"Will you all stop putting emphasis on the word settle? It's annoying," Emily tells them, making sure to look each one of her friends in the eyes. This was getting to be too much. Paige lightly places a hand on Emily's thigh, instantly calming her. She blows out of puff of air. "We settled on not having one."

"Well that's no fun." Aria.

"You said settled." Hanna.

"Em, pet names can be a big part of relationships, brings you closer together. It's like a verbal hand hold. There's no shame in having one," Spencer comments.

Emily folds her arms and drops her head onto it.

"Guy, I just don't think we're one of those couples. It's not a big deal," Paige says. "I was mostly joking," she adds as Emily feels Paige move her arm from her leg to around her back, rubbing her hand up and down.

Again, Emily is instantly relaxed. She lifts her head up and looks at her girlfriend. "Really?"

Paige smiles. "Yeah. I was just making fun. I didn't think it would bother you that much." Paige squeezes her side.

Emily leans her head on Paige's shoulder. "It doesn't bother me. It's just...kind of embarrassing."

Paige kisses the top of her head. "No more. Besides, I like saying your name."

Emily lifts her head, smirking. "I like hearing you say my name," she says, the flirty tone to her voice, surprising even her. They weren't really _that_ kind of couple either. The overly flirty kind. At least not right in front of her friends.

"Hey! None of that cutesy, couple-y stuff. Caleb is visiting his mom, so unless one of you are gonna be my snuggle buddy and call me hun...you two knock it off," Hanna points her finger at them.

Much to Emily's dismay, Paige pulls away from her. "I actually have to go see coach, Em. So you're safe Hanna." She kisses the side of Emily's head and stands up, gathering her things. "I'll see you after school?" She asks, looking at Emily.

Hanna grabs one of Spencer's carrots and throws it at Paige, effectively getting her attention. "What? You don't wanna see me after school, sugar mama?!"

Emily's eyes pop out. "Hanna, will you quiet down," she warns, looking around the court yard. Other than a few people looking their way, it looked liked no one heard. Thank goodness, she didn't need them whispering about something else.

"I've been to your girl's house. I'm just saying, I wouldn't be aga-"

Aria nudges the blonde. "Emily's giving you the evil eye."

Paige laughs, shouldering her bag. "I'm just gonna go...that way," she juts her thumb out. "I'll see you later, Em."

Emily gives her a half-hearted wave, her eyes still firmly on her friend.

"What?"

Emily grabs one of Spencer's carrots and throws it at Hanna.

"Dammit, Em! That was my eye!" Hanna cries, rubbing at her left eye.

Spencer's arms shoot up. "Can we all leave my carrots alone, please."

"Can I just have-" Aria stops. "What? I'm going to eat it. Why am I being punished? "

Spencer rolls her eyes, grabbing a carrot and hands it to Aria. "Only because you need to grow," she says seriously, as she pats the top of Aria's head.

Emily laughs as she watches Aria throw the vegetable at Spencer.

* * *

"You know," Emily starts, fiddling with Paige's hand that was sandwiched between her own.

School was over and after another 'sugar mama' incident with Hanna, as Aria dubbed it, Emily and Paige were now making their way to Emily's car.

"What do I know?" Paige asks her, swinging her tightly held arm.

"Well, I was just thinking about all this pet name stuff and-"

"Em, we're done, remember?"

Emily ignores her, continuing. "_I was just thinking,_" she repeats, "about how this all got started."

"At the hospital, you mean?"

Emily nods. "Remember I accidentally said babe."

Paige squeezes her hand. "Yes. It was kinda hot."

Emily chuckles. "Right. Well, I was thinking...it was kinda hot when you said it too," she finishes, pulling Paige's arm closer to her body.

Paige stops. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?''

Emily continues walking, pulling Paige along. "I'm saying...it wouldn't be the worst thing if you called me babe every once in a while."

Paige doesn't say anything, just walks along with Emily. She fishes the keys out of her pocket when they reach the car and presses the button, unlocking the door. Emily frowns when Paige pulls her arm out from in between hers, but stays quiet as she watches Paige open the passenger side door. She grins at Emily. "After you, babe."

Emily bites her lip, trying to hide her grin. "Yeah, don't use it up bun buns."

–

* * *

**A/N:** Whoops. That took a lot longer that I wanted it to. Sorry, life was very life-ish. Anyhow, there it is. That wraps up this sort of, but not really two-parter. I think I may have gone a little overboard with the pet names, but it was entirely too much fun and I couldn't help myself. I hope you enjoyed it. As always, thanks for the...everything, you know. I appreciate it.

I'm slowly getting back into my writing groove. I think reading other people's fics kind of messed me up a little bit, so I've kind of stopped doing that. So sorry if I left reviews and then stopped, it's cause you're too good. Anyways, I have some stuff already written, so hopefully I'll post those soon. You guys really are the best and fic can be so fun to write man.


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